


the little boy in the mirror

by Bofur_is_my_dude



Category: The Hobbit - All Media Types
Genre: Character Death, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, M/M, Past Rape/Non-con
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-07-19
Updated: 2020-08-01
Packaged: 2021-03-05 04:35:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,572
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25378525
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bofur_is_my_dude/pseuds/Bofur_is_my_dude
Summary: Thorin dale is fresh out of prison and he has to work out how to live with his past with child abuse and raise his son the best he can on his own.





	1. Chapter 1

Thorin was guided from his cell that had been his home for the last 5 years to the front office of phoenix prison. This was not the first time he had been let free and he doubted it would be the last. Thorin had a habit of getting into trouble, sometimes the trouble was not his fault.

  
the sight of the outside world was breath-taking as always. The mountains cool air soothed Thorin’s foul mood. “Mr Dale, it’s time to go” the female officer said, breaking Thorin from his thoughts. He nodded as he thought of his young son. He would be seven now or is it eight, Thorin could not quite remember. He just hoped his son remembered him since he had been absent for most of his life .

  
The car ride back to Thorin’s apartment was unbearable. All Thorin could think about was his son. He could remember his laugh, his smile and his little wobbly legs walking towards Thorin with the joy only a toddler could have.  
Finally, they arrived.

The familiar apartment building stood in front of Thorin like an old friend. The grey walls seemed to welcome him with a smile. But it felt strange, like the smile had too many teeth. Thorin turned to the officer and said, “thank you Sharon”. He tried to say it with as much gratitude as possible, but he knew it sounded flat. Sharon smiled and said, “try to stay out of trouble again if not for yourself, for your son”. “I will try for him” Thorin said.

  
Thorin took the stairs instead of the elevator. He needed to calm his nerves. It had been so long since he had seen his family. Well what family he had left. It was only him and his son now. The door loomed before him like an impending tragedy. “I never liked this door, it’s a horrid colour” Thorin muttered as he reached for the doorknob.

He opened the door slowly. The first thing he saw was his good friend coming out of the door from the living room. “Thorin, it’s good to see you again” Ben said with fondness. “hello ben” Thorin said tiredly. He smiled at his friend, but Ben knew who Thorin wanted to see. “Luke your dad’s home” Ben called. A quiet patter of feet came towards Thorin and a small pair of arms were wrapped around his waist. “Daddy your home!” cried Luke with happiness. Thorin’s eyes dampened with tears. The crushing realisation of how much he missed his little boy hit Thorin like a hammer.  
Thorin knelt and held Luke tight. “I missed you a lot kiddo” Thorin said with a slight voice crack. “I missed you too daddy” Luke said quietly “please don’t leave again”. Thorin’s heart clenched. He knew he would not be able to keep that promise. “I promise” he mumbled. Thorin looked over Luke’s shoulder to see Ben shaking his head sadly.Luke stepped back from Thorin and said, “come and look at my drawing I did”. Thorin smiled and followed his son into the living room.

  
Thorin lay awake that night. He could only hear the voice of her. His lovely Alice. Taken too soon, she died to give him their son. They knew the risk, Thorin always thought it was his fault that Alice died. He was not even there when she was giving birth. That was one of the things Thorin most regretted in his life, he should have been there instead of letting Alice die alone. He should have abandoned the deal he had with the greenwood gang…. like he abandoned Alice in her last moments of life. Thorin was told by his father-in-law that she had cried for him and begged for him to come. Thorin was told how the hope left her eyes the same moment she realised she would not make it. Thorin could still hear those imaginary cries. The tears on his face were real though.

  
Thorin’s body shook with sobs. He ignored the shuffling in the hallway and buried his head into his pillow, trying to hide from the sorrows of the world. The door to Thorin’s bedroom opened slowly.

Ben peered around the door frame to see one of his closest friends crying. He had heard it from the guest room. “Thorin?” Ben asked quietly “are you alright”. Thorin looked up at him with red and puffy eyes. “no” he whispered. Ben sighed and came over to Thorin’s bed. “thinking about Alice?” Ben asked. Thorin nodded slowly and a fresh trail of tears ran down his face. Ben sat next to Thorin and ran his hand through Thorin’s long messy hair.

  
“it’s hard not to think of her mm?” Ben said softly as if he was soothing a child. Thorin nodded again. He leant into Ben’s hand that was still stroking his head. “you should be asleep instead of being with an old sad man” Thorin slowly. “You’re not old Thorin. Your only just 30” Ben said. Thorin chuckled softly. They stayed in silence for a while. Then Thorin asked “who…who looked after Luke when I was away”. Ben smiled. “ I did and your sister chipped in now and then” Ben said.  
They talked about this and that for a while longer then Ben got up “I should let you sleep now.” He said. As he walked away, Thorin grabbed his wrist “can you stay with me” Thorin said in a pitiful voice. The thought of ‘you’re a grown man not a child’ ran through his head, but he banished it in favour of being comforted. Ben smiled and laid next to his friend. Thorin nestled in closer to Ben’s chest. “ill stay with you always” Ben whispered, Thorin almost missed it but he soon fell asleep with a small smile.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> sorry about the small chapters

Thorin awoke with his head on Ben’s chest. From the way Ben was breathing he could tell he was awake.

Thorin looked up into the eyes of his friend, green he mused. “good morning” Thorin mumbled as he dragged his hand over his face. “sleep well?” Ben asked quietly. Thorin nodded and looked at the alarm clock. Five am. “it’s still quite early” he said. Ben smiled softly.

Suddenly Thorin felt this warm feeling in his stomach as he locked eyes with Ben. Something he had not felt since he first fell in love. No, he could not be. He could not be falling in love with his best friend. But it was happening.

Ben’s eyes had grown dark as he lent closer to Thorin. Their lips ghosted over each other before Ben pressed his against Thorin’s. It felt good, amazing even. Ben trailed his hand up to cup the back of Thorin’s neck. Thorin let out a small groan. ben stared to run his hand down Thorin’s body, down to his sweatpants. As soon as Thorin felt ben’s hand lifting the elastic of his sweatpants, his eyes widened with fear.

He tore himself away from ben and tossed him on the floor whilst letting out a bellowing scream. “no” Thorin sobbed repeatedly “please don’t…I don’t want too”. Ben had heard the small child like whimpers.

He got up and slowly reached out to Thorin. “Thorin? Did I do something wrong. Oh, dear did I take it too far?” ben said with concern. “n-no its just me I’m sorry.” Thorin said whilst sitting up and embracing Ben. “do you want to talk about it?” Ben asked softly, not sure If he was intruding or not.

Thorin let out a small shaky breath and nodded. “when I was younger my father would always want me to hug him. He would also want to kiss me a lot. Some nights he would come into my room which I shared with my sister, Dawn. He would violate, touch and beat me whilst forcing my sister to watch. Just before I was arrested, I found out he had beaten my mother and killed finnly. I got so enraged I found him and I…” Thorin broke off in a sob.

Ben pulled Thorin closer to him, the images of a child being violated by their father horrified him and it had happened to Thorin. “what did you do” ben asked quietly. “I... I... I killed him; I beat him the same way he did to Finn. I stabbed him so many times I lost count. Then I burned him alive. I only got five years because Alice’s father was a good and respected lawyer. He put me down as emotionally weak. I guess he was right” Thorin said barely over a whisper.

“your far from weak Thorin” Ben said gently as he tilted Thorin’s head until he could look into his icy blue eyes. “You have survived what most people wouldn’t of. You survived your father” Thorin tried to interrupt “shh, I know you came out of it hurt and with scars, but you survived” Ben said.

Thorin felt a tear run down his face. Ben wiped it way gently with his thumb. Their lips met again in a gentle kiss.

They parted when they heard a creek at the door. Luke was standing in the doorway with his mouth agape “are you going to be my daddy too ben?” Luke asked ecstatically. Ben and Thorin looked at each other, but instead of the pain he usually saw in Thorin’s eyes all he saw was love.


End file.
